A Spoof Gone Sour...Starring Heero and Relena.
by Moi -D
Summary: Budget cuts! NOO! Ok, this is my one fic that really stunk up the website. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
1. A Spoof Gone Sour Chapter 1

Moi ô¿ô: Uggh! NO! It can't be true!!  
Cloud: What!? What!?  
Moi ô¿ô: Ack! Get back! I can't afford to write about you anymore! Budget cuts are hell.  
Yuffie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I wanna do more fun stuff!  
Moi ô¿ô: Sorry......I can, however afford these people though!  
Yuffie and Cloud poof into oblivion, and the Gundam Wing boys appear.  
Heero takes his gun out right away.  
Heero: *points his gun at Moi ô¿ô's head* Tell me why we're here or its lights out.  
Moi ô¿ô: Uhhh....well the thing is....You guys are gonna be in a fan-fic.  
Duo: Cool! What about?  
Moi ô¿ô: Actually its only gonna be starring Heero and Relena, so you guys don't need to be here.  
Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei all disappear, and Relena appears in thier place.  
Heero: Omeo o korosu! *runs at Moi ô¿ô*  
Moi ô¿ô: *runs* This isn't suppossed to happen!!! Roll the show Relena!!!!  
Relena: How??  
Moi ô¿ô: Pull the red lever!  
Relena: But it says "Do not pull"!  
Moi ô¿ô: *climbing up the stage wall* Just do it!  
Heero: Die!!  
  
Romeo and Juliet.......A Variation, Starring Heero and Relena!  
By Moi ô¿ô  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gundam Wing or Final Fantasy, or anything related to them. Though as much as I'd like to be rich, and having owned them, I don't :'(  
  
Relena pulls the lever, and she and Heero appear in a run-down park.  
Heero: I refuse to do this.  
Moi ô¿ô: I can make you do it. Would you rather that?  
Heero: ......  
Moi ô¿ô: I'll take that as a yes. *snapps his fingers, and Treize appears, doing a strip dance*  
Heero: NOOO! Make it stop! Ok! I'll do it!  
Moi ô¿ô: *makes Treize disappear* And mean it too! This is going to be a spoof and a half!  
Heero: Fine..........   
Relena: Whats the half part?  
Heero and Moi ô¿ô slap themselves in the head.  
Heero and Moi ô¿ô: Oy.....  
Moi ô¿ô: And........Action!  
Moi ô¿ô: *holds up his video camera* This is the house of Juliet Capulet...*the camera stops on a sand box* well....not really, but you can blame that on the budget cuts.  
The camera pans again, and stops at the top of a slide, which has an uncanny resemblance to a balcony.  
Moi ô¿ô: Juliet awaits the arrival of her one true love, Romeo.  
Heero marches like a dork across a small field, and trips over a fallen branch.  
Moi ô¿ô: Hurry Romeo! The Capulets will catch you!  
Heero bangs on the bottom of the slide/balcony  
Heero: Ya up there!?  
Moi ô¿ô: It seems that there are still party members there.....Romeo must hide!  
Heero makes a break for it, in a random direction.  
Moi ô¿ô: Romeo!! Wrong way Romeo!!  
Heero runs back and hides under the slide/balcony.  
Relena: Did I hear a noise? Is that Romeo? Romeo, Romeo! Where for art thou Romeo?   
Deny thy father and refuse thy name, what thou art not, will have sworn my love, and I will no longer be a Capulet!  
Moi ô¿ô: Psst! Thats not how it goes Relena!  
Relena: ......Don't ruin this!...  
Heero: ......What is she talking about?  
Relena: Tis but my name that is my enemy! .............I forget the next line!  
Heero: She wrote it down?  
Relena: *takes a piece of paper out of he pocket* Ahh yeah! Thou art thy self, though not a Montegue. What's Montegue!? Tis not   
hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor.....any other part belonging to a man!  
Heero: Are you gonna come down, or are you gonna keep being hentai?  
Relena: Hold on a minute....Oh, what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would   
smell as sweet. So Romeo would if he were not Romeo called, pertain that sheer perfection without that title?   
Oh, Romeo...doth thy name! And for thy name, and no part of thee, take all thy self.  
Heero: *looks to Moi ô¿ô* I'm gonna go see what Juliet's talking about, she's scaring me. *climbs up the slide/balcony*  
Relena: Oh, Romeo hi! Whatcha do'n Romeo? Err...What for art thou doing, my love?  
Heero: Do you speak English or don't you?  
Relena: This is English oh, Romeo. Thou art not understanding my old English art thou?  
Heero: *blank look*  
Relena: What ablout our everlasting love oh Romeo type person?  
Heero: Everlasting love? I just came down here to deliver a pizza!  
Relena: PIZZA!?!?!? What about the dance we had? Didn't we have the best of all dances?  
Heero: I dunno.   
Relena: You seriously don't know? Well then leave!! Don't come back!  
Heero slides down the slide, and the camera shuts off.  
Moi ô¿ô: Cut! Thats a rap!  
The scenery changes back to the stage.  
Heero: That was torture......  
Relena: That was fun!  
Heero: Omeo-  
Moi ô¿ô: O korosu! Hehehe beat ya to it!  
Heero: Thats it!! *shoots Moi ô¿ô*  
Relena: *gasp* *runs away*  
Heero: Ha...haha....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!  
Relena goes back to the GW world.  
Relena: And thats he whole story.  
Duo: Heero's gone nuts!  
Quatre: Sound the alarm!  
Trowa: Can I fly Zero now?  
Wufei: No! I get to fly Zero!  
Relena: Looks like I'm the author for now....  
Duo: *eyes widen* Hell on Earth........  
Relena: We need more help.....but from who?  
  
Who indeed! Stay tuned for the next chapter in this   
compelling (am I overdoing it?) thriller!  



	2. A Spoof Gone Sour Chapter 2

Quatre walks on stage, and tapps on the mic.  
Quatre: I'm sure if he were here right now, Moi ô¿ô would tell you that the spoof of Romeo and Juliet that you just saw was based on the spoof by Random Acts of Insanity. Thank you.  
Quatre walks off stage.  
  
When Pilots Write Stories  
  
By Moi ô- Err....Relena Peacecraft.  
Disclaimer: Uhh....what's it suppossed to say again?  
Duo holds up cue cards.  
Ohhh! Moi ô¿ô doesn't own Gundam Wing or for that matter any thing else in this story, except half of Random Acts Of Insanity.  
  
Wufei: Creepy onna..............  
Relena: I'm the author, so you have to listen to me! Now.....we need help, and we need it fast.  
Yuffie suddenly appears.  
Yuffie: Moi ô¿ô! I need more pocky! *sees the GW peoples and blinks a few times*  
Duo: *stares*  
Quatre: AHHHH!!!   
Trowa: What the!?  
Wufei: The world is being invaded my women!  
Relena: Hi! I'm Relena Peacecraft. What's your name?  
Yuffie: Uhhh....uh....CLOUD!! *brings Cloud out from oblivion*  
Cloud: What is it now?  
Yuffie: *points*  
Cloud: So? Its just 3 weird looking boys, and 2 girls.  
Relena: There's another girl here? *looks around*  
Cloud: Yeah, the one over there with the braid.  
Duo: HEY! I'm NOT a girl you blonde porcupine!  
Cloud: Oops.....Heheheh.  
Yuffie: I'm Yuffie. So....whats going on?  
Relena: Some Moi guy is dead, and our friend Heero killed him, and went inasane.  
Cloud: Moi ô¿ô is DEAD!?  
Yuffie: NO!!!!!!  
Cloud: Lets kill that Heero guy!  
Yuffie: Lets not over-react. We do have pheonix down.  
Cloud: Oh yeah! So wheres the body?  
Relena tells Cloud where the body is, while Cloud revives Moi ô¿ô.  
Cloud: Are you ok Moi ô¿ô?  
Moi ô¿ô: *wakes up and blinks*  
Yuffie: Yay!  
Moi ô¿ô: Omeo o korosu.....  
Cloud: Hey! I revived you, the least you could do is thank me!  
Moi ô¿ô: O korosu omeo......omeo omeo!!  
Quatre: Jeez.....he really has a temper.....  
Trowa: Heero doesn't even talk like that.  
Wufei: Allow me....*gets up and slapps Moi ô¿ô in the face*  
Moi ô¿ô: OWW! Err......Hey! Thanks!  
Wufei: That always works.  
Moi ô¿ô: So what happened while I was gone?  
Duo: That freakazoid took over as author!*points to Relena*  
Relena: Hey!  
Moi ô¿ô: SHE WHAT!?!?!?!?!?  
Cloud: Good one braid boy.  
Moi ô¿ô: *runs up to Relena* WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?  
Relena: Nothing!  
Moi ô¿ô: AHHHHHH!!   
Wufei: *whispers something to Duo*  
Duo: Heheheheh. She wrote 12 stories about how pacafisim can solve all the world's problems!  
Relena: I did not!  
Moi ô¿ô: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs up the stairs, and jumps off the roof*  
Yuffie and Cloud try to catch Moi ô¿ô, but get squished by him.  
Quatre: You guys are being evil!  
Wufei: Thats the idea.  
Duo: Ok, we gotta think of something to do here.  
Trowa: Were'nt we gonna be looking for Heero?  
Duo: He'll come back when he's ready. Now lets see....*concots a storyline*  
Relena: This can't be good.  
Duo: First, Relena gets eaten by a big.....uhh....shoe!  
A big right-foot penny loafer appears, and eats Relena.  
Quatre: *stares big-eyed*  
Wufei: Yay! No more freaky onna!  
Trowa: My turn!  
Duo: Ok. *sits down*  
Trowa: Then the shoe tries to join the circus, and when it gets rejected, it guns down all the clowns.  
Wufei: Then it eats every AOL server in the universe!  
Quatre: This is disturbing....I'm leaving....  
Quatre leaves, and sees Heero across the street climbing a tree like a monkey.  
Quatre: HEERO!  
Heero: *sings the Anvil Chorus*  
Duo: (from inside the stage building) Its your turn to be author Quatre!  
Quatre: Uhh....uhh...*takes out his camera and takes a picture of Heero, before invoking that he be normal.  
Heero: Oww....my head....  
Suddenly, a big pink bunny with a leather jacket rides down the street on a motorcycle.  
Quatre: That has to be Duo's doing.....  
Heero: So where's Relena?  
Quatre: She got eaten by a shoe.  
Heero: O_o  
Quatre: Its true!  
Hevyarms appears on the TV in somebody's house, while the prisedent declares him king of the world.  
Quatre: We have to stop them!  
They go back inside the building.  
Heero: Right! Before Wufei invokes that-  
Wufei: I own Zero!!  
Heero: NO!!!  
Duo: Heero!  
Quatre: Well, Its my turn to be author now, and I say that every thing goes back to the way it was before we came here!  
Thunder crashes, and loud noises echo throughout the universe, and the Gundam peeps get transported back to their world.  
Moi ô¿ô: Oww! Get off me you two!  
Cloud: Ugghgh.......  
Yuffie: Alive! I'm alive!  
Some time later, at Cloud's Condo..........  
Citizen: *walks up to Moi ô¿ô telegram*  
Moi ô¿ô: *opens it* Yay! The budget cuts have been revoked!  
Everyone: Woo-hoo!  
  
THE END ô¿ô!  



End file.
